hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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