no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I smell like Dick and happiness
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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