no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
