I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Green mimosas i think yes
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
