Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
