You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
