Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize