let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So much rum. So many feels.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
