Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
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Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
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Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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