I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
