dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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