Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
