Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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