So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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