Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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