my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize