Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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