then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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