right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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