i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
