Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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