i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
