WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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