Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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