So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
