I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
