Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
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I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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