Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.