i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
