...so i touched it.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
