You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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