His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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