ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
