Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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