ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
