We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
