so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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