Do vagina's smell?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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