how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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