is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
