I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
