wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
