Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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