I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
