i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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