One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
