im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
