No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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