At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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