I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
