I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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