you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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