mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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