omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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