Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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