haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
whose parrot is this?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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