omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's shark week go big or go home
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
