She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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