your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
