you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Randomize
